Phantom's Reflections
by Abah
Summary: Your phantom tells stories better than your mouth - so all the silent witnesses.
1. Reflections of the Past

_How can a window reflect a phantom's shadow? I cannot think of an answer to my question._

 _I have vivid visions of the past as I walked into my Chateau once more. It is dark, damp, cold, and haunting. Remembering everything from the top to the bottom of my heart – lies cold, without a single beat, rotten by time, decayed by day. The chateau once I owned now served nothing more than a silent redemption._

 _The large halls with tall, engraved pillars decorate so beautifully that whenever you come home at the youngest age of our relationship felt like a battlefield of some sort. These pillars are your favorite place to hide, to seek, and to love me. The beautiful marble floors gave vivid shadows of us, too, where we always joke and to mock each other, romantically. If you could see me cry in the darkness of my own, you'll see it as rain – heavy rain, pours down from the skies down to my heart, screaming for help, crying for forgiveness. This life is not what I choose to live my life._

 _Whenever I walk through the hall, I wasn't sure that I see your face in every dusty marble I've walked. I once tried to make a silly face to the marbles below me, but the marble never shown any reflection of my phantom, it realizes that I am empty – an emptiness in a body bag, a speck of darkness in the light. My emotions that I couldn't share with myself, now lying in ruins – abandoned and long forgotten. I can't even laugh at myself, at least smiling towards my silly face._

 _There's no need for a dagger if words will do. Will do the hate, the separation – the death of a person._

 _I wasn't ready for this, no, I was ready – but the cries are not._

 _Now I'm alone again, with the spiders hanging on the wall, with the rusted frame of an old picture frame of us. I want you to hear me…_

 _I'm crying. I was hoping that in my inevitable death, this is just a dream – a dream that never happened, a nightmare that didn't even do a thing._

"It has been thirty minutes, would you like to go back to the base? I'm sure the Boss would be angry if you're stopping somewhere without his or our supervisor's permission."

Mei glanced briefly before she takes another look at herself on the dusty marble. The marksman took a seat on the table and tried to feel what the Mei felt, looking the same old ground.

"The commander is expecting you to go back as soon as you can, but, to hell with that when you remembered something emotional, ain't it?" She smiled and grabbed Mei's shoulder. "What are you thinking right now? Can we share it later on?"

"I am not thinking anything, and I am afraid that I cannot spare the details with you," she replied. "It was nothing, actually."

Shaelynn took a hint. "Is it about Yuzu?"

"I said it was nothing." She asserted and clenched her fists, ready to punch Shaelynn.

Shaelynn shrugged and let Mei calm down a little. She suggested. "We can stay here for an hour for you to tell it all about it, I'll make sure that the communication systems are offline," she reached her earpiece. "Commander, this is Shaelynn, and I'd like to acquire your permission to stay at the chateau for one hour. We will set-up a set of explosives and leave the place immediately."

 _Permission granted, Shae. We'll see you back at the base._

"Roger that, commander. Over." Shaelynn shut down the communication systems and said. "Let's go, if you want to talk about anything. There's no one eavesdropping other than me."

Her eyes widened for a moment, and she immediately closed it.

 _How can a dusty marble show my face, no, my phantom's face?_

 _I'm standing on a balcony that once becomes a witness to our warmth – our beautiful wedding. I never thought that this assassin could ever fell in love with someone who loves to spread love throughout their lives. Ever since I know and feel love or compassion, I never recognized it as something simple, something you could do with your eyes blindfolded and get it done right away with 100 percent efficiency._

 _One thing I never get to understand is how you will teach me how to play blues and sometimes playing along with me singing the song you like – even I had to browse and search for the lyrics. Those memories began to fade as I kill another person, but when I came back here, it was all revealed like a revelation of some sort – and I know this is my redemption, my way to seek forgiveness._

 _It's not something personal, it's something we'd share together._

 _Your acoustic guitar._

 _Yes, your acoustic guitar._

 _I never knew that I could smile if I just get a glimpse of your acoustic guitar – which has no relation to your murder and my killings, and everything in between. A long lost love could be this emotional, no? It's for me to find out and your guitar is my redemption._

 _I don't understand why the dust didn't cover your guitar and rust the strings, but one thing I do know is that you loved that guitar more than you loved me as a sister and a companion to your sleepless nights._

 _Now the Emotionless shows her feelings once more – even in this form, a sense couldn't be stripped away from humanity as we seek redemption for the things we did, and it's an inevitable one. Your ashes will always here. I'll make sure to tell everyone that this place is haunted._

 _Plagued by our past lives, our memories, and our feelings._

 _Let them know that even in death – we're still married._

"Shae, can you grab that guitar for me?" Mei asked.

Shaelynn walked happily to the end of the hall. "Right away, Mei-san," she walked back. "Here's your guitar, Mei-san, should you requested it."

"Shae?" Mei called, glanced to Shaelynn who can't stand her tiredness.

"Yes, Mei-san?" she replied and smiled like a sleepy drunkard.

"You may sleep for a while here," she pointed at the sofa. "I'm sure that sofa is tempting you."

Shaelynn sighed and walks soullessly to the couch. "Honey, you don't know how tempted I am to put my back and my butt at the same time on that couch," she thanked. "Thank you, milady."

She strummed and played a set of power chords. "You're welcome, Shae."

 _The only thing I always want to ask is how love works. Many will say strangely._

 _And yes, it strangely did work._

 _It did work strangely._


	2. To Bomb or Not to Bomb

_The cold breeze began to surround the chateau as I lay on the marble table. The building was empty, no lights, no hopes, no, nothing. I looked at the ceiling, and it's all covered in spider webs. I was thinking to myself if this is something out of my dreams or a nightmare that feels so real. I never thought that the chateau, where I used to live with Yuzu felt so nostalgic. My organization wants someone dead, and I don't know if that was you in the first place - I don't even realize it. I wish I were the one who died so you can be happy, be something you've always wanted. I wasn't sure at first to put that dagger on your beautiful neck, cutting the wedding ring necklace off of you. I didn't see it until I allowed to take some rest here from my superior's permission. That golden necklace is my irreplaceable treasure - then I took it off forcefully, trade it with your soul. Your innocent soul. I didn't have to wonder what will it cost me to get you back and to wear that ring again on your neck. For all I know, I destroyed my irreplaceable treasure, which is dearest to me._

 _The cold breeze began to surround the chateau as I lay on the marble table. This chateau is second dearest to me after you. This building is a place to share fond memories of our pasts and to cherish it until the end of times, then a dagger struck your neck and killed you. As your blood flows through my hands and some parts of my military equipment, I... have no words but to regret the decision. The thrill of it was destroying me bit by bit. I never thought that you would be my next target. Alas, what's done is done. When I saw the body bag with your name on it, slightly open and showcasing your face... I was wrong to ever love you, I was wrong to fall into your trap, a trap that so honest that it captures the heart of a human-equivalent of the Grim Reaper._

 _A Grim Reaper who stole people's soul, forcefully. I was wrong to wed you, I should never meet you, I should never ever loved you. But your natural eyes sold everything I stood for. Sold my uncertainty, my worries, and my skeptical thinking of loving someone. I thought the organization's client was uncertain about the target, then I take another look, and there's your photograph. Smiling and cheerful, as always - as you ever be. You are someone who shares the smile with everyone, not just me or our little, newly wedded family. You gave your bright smile to everyone you meet and they will always be so comfortable when you're around. What have I been dreaming when I knew the person in that body bag is you?_

"Honey, you sure all right?" Shaelynn asked. "I was wondering if I heard someone's sobbing."

"My eye caught a speck of dust, that's it, and a bit of flu," I replied, trying to hide my wavering feelings. "No sobbing. Nothing."

Shaelynn yawned. "Well, I'll be back sleeping. If you're ready to go home and blow the place up, let me know." She said while shutting her eyes. "This place is very comfy, it'd be such a waste when we destroy this to pieces."

I sighed. "Yes, it would be such a waste."


	3. Waiting For

_I remember the first time we had dinner with each other on that marble dining table. At first, you don't accept me as your partner because we had different things that we perceive, that we believed it was right, and the other was wrong. You give me anything you have in this chateau, and yet you didn't recognize me as something that you would love forever, it hurts, but I did this for you. When most left their partners because of their bad behavior, I stayed. I stayed for you and kept trying to hide my wavering feelings for you. I told myself that one day, I would be yours and yours only. I remember the time when we had our first date, your emotions are getting better with me and you slowly accepting me as a partner - you'd even let me sleep with you in your sleepless nights. One night, when we can't relax and tried anything to make it easier, a butterfly came inside your room and stayed on the windowsill. Perching like a bird and it didn't move a muscle. We both took a chair and sat across it. It was majestic, and it radiates a vibrant color, just as you shine your beaming smile to everyone. I remember you smiled at me and let out a little giggle that gave warmth to this cold, bloodless soul - into a more open, soulful spirit of a person._

 _In front of this butterfly, there lies our blooming and growing future. Surrounded by happiness and joy, and the cheerfulness of your personality. The butterfly reflects us like a mirror, capturing every moment, every movement, every... memory that rests between two worlds. I remember one morning after you come home a bit tipsy and telling me to help you to dance to a classic rock song. You danced with such grace that I couldn't keep it up with you, nor with my mind. I was too mesmerized when I see your smiling face, although it's a bit drunk and showing symptoms of someone who almost passed out due to excessive alcohol intake on their body. I still love you and let you guide me through your drunken dance._

 _Due to... a miscalculated catastrophe, I killed you. Leaving me with all the thoughts of you in the coming days - starting tonight. What I've been dreaming on your bed every night is the most real nightmare that I could ever imagine. Every time I went back to my base, I think about you - a lot. I think of every possible way to make you happy, to let you know that in this husk of a dead woman who walks the earth aimlessly with a dagger, I honestly still waiting. When you smiled at me, teaching me how to cook, and just adoring the view of the lake on the backyard balcony. I think every possible way to make you happy, to make you mine and mine only. I never thought that my organization would do such a horrific crime to you, and I am the one who executes the order. I was brainwashed. I was programmed to kill, but yet you showed me your emotions, taught me how to let your feelings out - from this husk that cannot understand what feeling is and how to use it. I wasn't flirty enough for you, but now, I know that you hide something from me, something that so sincere that it melts a dying heart and heals an ill soul of a woman._ _The butterfly only showed my shadow, but nowhere near yours. The butterfly stood still like a statue - as if it was dead long ago._

 _Tears running down from my eyes to my heart, I stood and sat on our queen-sized bed, and think..._

 _That I sincerely still waiting for..._

 _Waiting for..._

 _Ah... forget it. Who would care about my emotions?_


End file.
